This is not a job for me
by Roninarnia
Summary: The Author somehow goes to Gotham. A series of One-Shots. Flames will be ignored.
1. Chapter 1

**Young justice Belongs to its owners and...This is a self insert do NOT kill me.  
**

* * *

As I walked to the Rite Aid to pick up medicine I began to notice things:

1. It looked a lot like NYC in Syracuse NY.

2. There was a clown walking towards me.

I stopped and watched him. He stopped a few feet away and pretended to be tying his tied shoes.

As a precaution I picked up a trash can lid and greeted him "Hello. Do you need something?"

He looked up at me and...Holy Cow I have NEVER seen a clown grin that big.

The clown replied in a cracked voice "Yes I do! I need a hostage! You see The young Justice are chasing me and I need a hostage so they will stop! And you Missy are a perfect Hostage."

Hostage?

Young Ju...Oh. Either this guy is a cosplayer or I'm in Gotham.

I asked "Are you a cosplayer?"

The clown AKA The Joker looked at me funny "Ahm...no. Will you be my hostage?"

Gotham.

I backed away and prepared to run "Not a chance in China!"

He grabbed my jacket and whined "Oh but its such FUN!"

I turned and whacked him in the head with the lid then ran for my life.

After he recovered The Joker had given up all pretense of being nice and friendly "GET BACK HERE YOU LIDDLE BRAT! I'LL KILL YOU SLOW!"

Why do evil Villains always say that? Its not like people are going to obey.

I eventually outran him and hid on a fire escape in a bad part of town.

Then I sorted out the information I had:

1. I am in Gotham. One of the worst cities for crime in DC.

2. I am a single 20 year old female in Gotham.

3. I need a job or I'll be living on this fire escape in danger of being mugged or murdered.

4. Speaking of being mugged, I had my purse. It holds my debit card and my license.

5. If said debit card is still active here I can get a hotel room for a month until I get a steady job and rent a room.

6. There is a strange-looking person in tights staring at me.

I snapped "What are YOU looking at?"

"A girl on a fire escape" The guy looked about my age maybe a little older "Who are you?"

"I'm Vickie and I want you to go away before Mr. Clown sees you."

He cocked his head "You mean the Joker? My team just took him back to Arkham. I'm Nightwing by the way."

"Awesome. Now go away."

Nightwing didn't move "Uh no. Do you have a safer place to stay?"

"I'm moving into a hotel tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?"

I stated simply "Its dark outside and this is a scary place at night."

Nightwing studied me. Probably trying to figure out whether or not I had any obvious mental illness "I could take you if you want."

I thought about this. Spending the night outside didn't appeal to me but neither did traveling with a weirdo in tights "Okay I guess."

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**Fun Fact- In real life I would live on that fire escape until Judgement Day but that would be boring so I'm going to get a job instead.**

**Extra Fun Fact- I don't usually recognize people until they get closer. So my not realizing who Nightwing or Joker are is pretty realistic.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Young justice Belongs to its owners and...This is a self insert do NOT kill me.  
**

* * *

"CRAP!"

I tore around the corner "CRAAAAP!"

A water whip thingy flashed past me and I slammed myself into a wall trying to get away from it "AUGH!"

I then realized the whip was not aimed for me but for a rolling table in front of me "CRUD!"

The table smashed into me and sent me to the ground "Owwww..." My wrist made a funny noise.

I sat up and groaned "Bruises all over...My wrist...Owww..."

A whip wrapped around me and lifted me off the ground to face Aqualad.

He panted "You run VERY fast but not fast enough."

"Put her down Aqualad."

I craned my head around to see Nightwing "Dude run! This guy is CRAZY!"

Nightwing ignored me. As usual "She hasn't done anything to you or the Light. She doesn't know anything about this. Just let Vickie go."

Aqualad looked curious "You are on first name terms with this woman? Why?"

"Because she has this knack for finding trouble and she babysits Beast Boy sometimes."

"Is she a reporter?"

I said "I'm a Receptionist. I do...Recepting." I am aware that is not a word but I do not really care.

Aqualad stared at me then looked at Nightwing "I see why you are friends."

Nightwing ignored him and said "Last warning Kaldur. Let her go and come quietly."

I snapped "That is NOT a warning! That is a demand! A warning would be 'Let Vickie go or I'll force feed you your kneecaps' or something equally violent and scary..."

Aqualad yelled "NEVER!" Then he threw me through WINDOW.

It was the worst and the most scary experience of my life.

I was free falling through mid-air and I think I swallowed a bug. On top of that Terra Firma was getting closer.

Then just as I was about to hit the ground Supergirl caught me.

I hugged her "Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

"Your welcome. Man I thought I was going to have a heart attack when you went through that window! We'd better get you to the hospital!"

* * *

After getting treated for minor bruising and having my wrist placed into a cast I was released.

Best Boy hugged me "Your alive! Can I sign your cast?"

I shrugged and replied "Sure why not?"

"Yea!" He quickly wrote his name on it.

I walked up to Nightwing and said "Here's the stupid disk I risked my life for" I handed it to him and turned to Supergirl "Thanks for catching me."

"Hey no prob!" She socked me in the arm.

I stiffened and tried not to yelp "Well I gotta go home. Bye guys."

* * *

I answered my house phone once I was home "Hi Nightwing."

"Hello Vickie. Hows your wrist?"

"Feels like somebody slammed a cart into my side. I'll live."

He laughed "Great. Thanks for the disk. It really helps. Oh and thanks for the cool new word! Recepting!

"Your welcome. Now I must go to bed."

"Okay. Bye! Recepting..."

I hung up.

The phone rang and I let it go to voicemail.

It was Nightwing "Recepting, Recepting, Recptiiing!"

I answred the phone "Go to sleep!"

"Okay okay! Recpting..."

I unplugged my phone and went to bed.

* * *

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**Fun Fact-I actually yelled advice at the toymaker while watching that episode. As a result my sister is really glad that I can't actually speak to villains.**

**Another Fun Fact- I have never liked Superman for three reasons:**

**1. His weakness IS A ROCK. Let that sink in.  
**

**2. Superman is too perfect.**

**3. He's a jerk to Superboy.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Young justice Belongs to its owners and...This is a self insert do NOT kill me.  
**

* * *

"Vickie?"

I looked up from my book at Garfield AKA Beast Boy "Yes?"

'What are criminals like in your world?"

I thought about it "Usually not as Pant wettingly terrifying as the criminals here."

A VERY brief silence then "Hey Vickie?"

"Yeeees?"

"Do you have superhumans in your world."

I sighed "No Garfield. We don't."

He sat by me and looked at me with wide eyes "Why?"

I had no idea "Because...Because we don't."

Impulse sang out "That's not an answer..."

I shot Impulse a look then turned to Beast Boy "I guess its because we don't have the Meta gene."

"Why?"

"I do not know. I may never know." I went back to reading.

Beast boy asked "Vickie?"

"Yes Garfield?"

"Why don't YOU have powers?"

I stated bluntly "Because I'm not a Metahuman."

"Ohhhh..." He went back to playing on his Xbox.

Impulse grinned "Hey Vickie?"

"Go away Impulse."

He ignored me "Are you ticklish?"

"No. Go away."

He said in a sing song voice "I think you're lying!"

I glared at him "I think that your superpower is being annoying."

Impulse appeared unaffected by this "Seriously are you ticklish?"

* * *

I collected my payment from Megan and Wally "Thank you. Tell Impulse not to tickle me anymore."

Wally grinned "He tickled you? Awesome!"

I walked away "Oh yeah frickin hilarious."

My Torment did not end.

Nightwing was waiting for me to take me home.

He picked me up "Look I found a TINY liddle munchkin! Do you need to go back to Oz?"

I said in a sing song voice "Look I found a giant spandex fairy! Does he need to go back to Avalon?"

He stared at me the grinned "You're getting a little quicker with the quips Hobbity one!" He placed me into the passenger seat.

"I am not a hobbity one!"

"You're right! You are an Elf!" He cackled as I swung at him.

This is gonna be a LOOOONG car trip.

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**Read and review.**

**Fun Fact- I am in fact quite ticklish.**

**Another Fun Fact- I am the shortest person in my family. This leads to a lot of immature jokes.**


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